Friday Funnies: How to Add Excitement to the Computer Lab

Need a laugh at the end of the week? We all need to lighten up and laugh, no matter the stress we’re experiencing!

Fun things to do in the Computer Lab Excerpts
==>Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my word! They”ve found me!” and bolt.
==>Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes. Then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
==>When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can”t get the thing to work. After it has been turned on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process.
==>Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
==>Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it”s set up with.
==>Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
==>Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray “Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease,” and scream “YES!” when it finishes.
==>Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
==>Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
==>Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
=>Bring some dry ice. Make it look like your computer is smoking.
==>Attempt to eat your computer”s mouse.
==>Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
==>Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn”t work.
==>Run into the computer lab, shout “Armageddon is here!!!!!”, then calmly sit down and begin to type.
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Source: http://www.slinkycity.com/computer-lab.html Editor’s note: obviously this is posted for teacher humor; not meant to be used with your classrooms!!!

NECC Cool Stuff #6: Perk Up Your Crowd Before You Present

If you’ve attended a conference before, you know that awful silence that happens before the presenter begins: nobody looks at anybody, the presenter is madly scurrying about seeing if everything is ready, you grab the chair by the aisle and 50 people walk over you (why do we do this when we know more will be coming and need to find a seat?), and you check your email on your laptop. At the “Literacy Isn’t Enough: 21st-Century Fluency for the Digital Age” by Ian Jukes of the InfoSavvy Group in Canada, had funny slides of headline goofs and weird pictures looping while we waited, and they are funny. With jazz music in the background, the PowerPoint kept the crowd entertained and cognitively engaged so that when the presentation began, we were perked and prepared. Check the resources at The Committed Sardine at http://www.committedsardine.com/funnystuff.cfm

Friday Funnies

Stress is sure to come as the sun is to rise, so here’s something we can do to relieve the pressure: LAUGH! All the following are rated G:
Funny #1
I can’t verify the accuracy of these events from an email I got, but even if they’re not true, they’re funny!

Top Dummies of 2008
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland, CA, spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, ‘Please come out and give yourself up.’

WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts!

THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

THE DOPE
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: ‘Give me all your money or I’ll shoot’, the man shouted, ‘that’s not what I said!’

ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: ‘My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart’.
‘Is this her first child?’ the doctor asked. ‘No!’ the man shouted, ‘This is her husband!’

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
—-FUNNY #2—–
Will this be us in our old age?

—-FUNNY #3——-
Stupid Criminals: Watch two prisoners try to escape

A Recent Classroom Social Studies Blooper

[DISCLAIMER: This is a true story and does not reflect any political leaning, opinions, or thoughts of the author or Portsmouth School System. It is a mere retelling of the facts as heard in a class I was teaching recently and it is not meant to begin a political war, political dialogue, opinion, or torches being flung through my windows. The sole purpose is the humor of the situation and nothing more. The hoping result is a smile of the reader and realization of how funny this is.]

Replacing a vocabulary word with another well intentioned word can certainly change the direction of the desired destination of a conversation. Have you been teaching a very serious and monotonous topic and suddenly have it zing in another direcition?

Lisa and I were recently asked to model a lesson for a frightfully boring SOL in 6th grade (U.S. History–Stamp Act/Proclamation Act of 1763/etc.–>#6c), and after we reviewed it, both of us said, “No wonder kids can’t stand Social Studies!” It’s a very discombobulated SOL and wanders from the Stamp Act to paying debts for the French and Indian War to the Proclamation of 1763. Continuity can only result if you make a graphic organizer and figure out where to zero in. The two of us finally realized that the main theme is the resentment of colonists towards the British.

Students were placed in a simulation setting. Starbursts were the “pay,” juice was the “tea” for Boston Harbor, our visit was the “upkeep,” and my embosser was the “stamp” for the graphic organizer. Students were all engaged and on task; behavior problems were nonexistent. The lesson was flowing and we were PUMPED. “Wow,” we said, “are we good or WHAT?!?” Our egos were STOKED. Yes!

In our wrap up, as Lisa was reviewing the vocabulary, the conversation went like this:

“Today we discussed how the colonists were angry, upset, and didn’t like what the British were doing. What word meant that they were feeling angry and opposed to the laws of the British?”

Nothing. No response. Quiet.

“Remember how ANGRY you got when we kept charging you tax on the juice and other things and kept taking Starbursts? How did you feel?”

“ANGRY!”

“So, you didn’t like it–you opposed it–you…????”

I piped in, “It starts with a “r”……”

“…..an e………”

One student’s eyes lit up and he raised his hand. “I know!”

“Yes?” said Lisa, excited that someone remembered our awesome teaching! “It is…?”

“Republican?”

He had no idea why we were hysterical. Someday he’ll understand the weird adults laughing and leaning against the wall.