I thought it was time to breathe, relax, and take a laugh break (from Jokes Only Teachers Understand):
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, â€œSchool Ahead, Go Slow.â€
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell â€œcrocodile?â€
TEACHER: No, thatâ€™s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said itâ€™s H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didnâ€™t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, Iâ€™m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with â€œI.â€
ELLEN: I isâ€¦
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, â€œI am.â€
ELLEN: All rightâ€¦ â€œI am the ninth letter of the alphabet.â€
TEACHER: â€œCan anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?â€
JOHNNY: â€œSir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.â€
TEACHER: â€œGeorge Washington not only chopped down his fatherâ€™s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didnâ€™t punish him?â€
JOHNNY: â€œBecause George still had the axe in his hand.â€
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I donâ€™t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on â€œMy Dogâ€ is exactly the same as your brotherâ€™s. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, itâ€™s the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
Sourced from Inspiring Teachers http://www.inspiringteachers.com/index.html